Hello, my name is Dian Farhana
Friends call me Dian. Colleagues/teachers/faci/strangers prefer calling me Farhana.
I don’t why, they just do. -.-
For me? I’m fine with both, really. (:
I have a lot of nicknames; some are too embarrassing to state down.
Well, I’m officially legal as of 8 February 1992. Nothing to brag off actually.
Yes, it sure sounds sexciting and I do anticipate for this special day.
But once it’s over, it’s over. My life goes on, still the same every single day. -.-
I’m taking a diploma in RP majoring in Sports and Leisure management.
This may not be my first choice but still, I am really glad I get into this course.
I shall live my hopes on seeing my one and only idol, Usain Bolt.
Yes, I’m a big fan of him because I go “wow” when I see him runs and I go “oooh~” when he wins. :p
Oh well, it was just a wish. I hope it would come true though. :D USAIN BOLT, please visit Singapore, pretty please with millions cherries on tops.
One word, nine letters to describe myself.
I’m different; metaphorically though.
I’m different in a way that I have my own mindset and my thoughts, my belief; my thinking is different from others.
I guess I belong to the minority groups that think the same way as I do.
I think I am anti-social.
Honestly, I’m not a person who mingles with strangers and hit off with them like polaroid instantly.
I am quiet when I’m alone. But once I’m with a bunch of crazy friends around me, be prepared to see me being crazier than them.
I don’t like noisy places or worse, crowded places.
I just have this feeling that everyone is staring at me and that is scary.
I pity my parents most of the time because they are usually pressured whenever we are dining out.
I am born to be stubborn. That’s something you have to bear with me.
I want things to go my way. I am extremely determined to achieve what I want and it must happen.
I am very demanding. Try go against me, I’ll give you a triple worse attitude. Wanna give it a try?
I am egoistic, that I can’t deny. I always wanted to win. But sometimes (rarely). I would relent; that’s when you guys are lucky though.
I don’t like people who use profanities.
I can’t stand people saying it even though it’s once in a while.
But sometimes, I do say it too. :p But I’ll regret and smack my mouth.
I rarely feel angry. I guess that’s the only positive thing I am proud of myself.
But once I do, I’ll go extremely superbly quiet.
I guess I’ve learnt it since I was small to always keep my mouth shut.
That’s why it’s hard for me to console people who are angry with me.
Oh, but at the same time I am a rebel person too. Contradicting, I know.
But I would only rebel when things doesn’t go my way.
I rebel in my quiet way. I may be quiet when I am angry but I rebel at the same time. Get it?
I’m patient. Patience with limits. Be friends with me and you‘ll know how high my patience is.
Im not perfect.
And there’s still more weakness in me which I’ve yet to reveal.
Despite all these imperfections, I have a fair share of my strength in myself.
But that is for you guys to judge me. Now enough about myself.
Meet my one and only boyfriend, Nadhir Osman.
♥ My one love, my one heart, my one life for sure.♥
22.02.2010, that’s the special date. And it is special to us somehow in terms of the numeric terms.
As cliché as it may sound, but he completes my life.
He’s my best friend, my best companion, my best advisor, my best everything.
He may not be the most perfect guy in every girl’s eye, but he is to me.
His imperfections are perfect enough to be my better half.
Our relationship may not be as those like in fairytales.
We live in a place called reality.
We’ve had our share of fights and arguments but we never let them get us down.
How much I love him, why do I love him..it’s better left unsaid.
Just so all of you know, HE knows, that I love him truly; always and forever, eternity and beyond.♥
Friday, July 31, 2009
What was the most regretful thing you had done?[ 8:59 PM ]
Math rj question - What was the most regretful thing you had done?
No link at all with any maths related. -.-
But a nice question to be asked at the wrong time; on my bad day. How cool is that? Well, it started of with a fine day, Im really happy this morning mind you. Its my first day after so many days at home and just my lucky day to be lucky in the morning. HE HE HE. Somebody know, I know. You all don't know. :D
But, of course my day always has to be ruined. As you all know, life is unfair. You can't get too happy because others might not like it and just ruined your happiness. And life really gets unfair when your bad day was more than your good day, which really sucks. I get to be happy for maybe, 3 hours top? And I spent the whole time after that, cursing in my heart. Just my day I guess.
Back to the question, hmm..I would prolly say that the most regretful thing I had done was to think about others and abandon my feelings which cause me the worst day(s) of my life. Yes, that was what I would say but of course, this is homework, so I need to think of some reasonable answers. And I know this is a waste of time, because no matter how reasonable my answers was, my adorable faci would always have something to comment against me. Pfft. But oh well, he's the nicest faci I could ever know. :D
Putting down the phone again Keeping the bouquet of flowers in my heart The letter that I wrote through the whole night was dampened by the rain
I opened the window to see again I shouted your name Listening to the ringing tone with no response at the rim of my ear
What a pity then, I yearn for everything What a pity, I am agonized by everything What a pity then and then, I know no other women besides you
I’m your man, I’m your man for you, following and getting today too I only think of you today too
I’m your man, I’m your man for you, following and getting today too Not able to leave you
I’m your man, I’m your man at the street, wandering about again Don’t know where I’ve been Perhaps you will show up again
I’m your man, maybe in the dreams, you will smile and rejoice Maybe coming to find me again, I’m your man
Even with closed eyes, I can hear your voice vividly in my ears Your scent still lingers around, but you have left already
Thinking more about it, I knew after you left This is love, you who left
What a pity then, I yearn for everything What a pity, I am agonized by everything What a pity then and then, I kept thinking about you who left me
I’m your man, I’m your man for you, following and getting today too I only think of you today too
I’m your man, I’m your man for you, following and getting today too Not able to leave you
I’m your man, I’m your man at the street, wandering about again Don’t know where I’ve been Perhaps you will show up again
I’m your man, maybe in the dreams, you will smile and rejoice Maybe coming to find me again, I’m your man
I know you, who has left, cried, however I know you’ve forgotten
I know it now, you’ve forgotten a man, it is so miserable
Why can’t I be? I am but your man
I’m your man, I’m your man for you, following and getting today too I only think of you today too
I’m your man, I’m your man for you, following and getting today too Not able to leave you
I’m your man, I’m your man at the street, wandering about again Don’t know where I’ve been Perhaps you will show up again
I’m your man, maybe in the dreams, you will smile and rejoice Maybe coming to find me again, I’m your man
Oh my, this is nice! :D
Monday, July 27, 2009
pathetic[ 8:59 PM ]
Best described of my state right now. Im sick. And I hate it. I think Im worst then this poor egg. Bleah.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Barefoot.[ 10:58 PM ]
An extract from a novel I read recently.
" "You're going back to him. Just say it." "I don't want to say it." Girls, women, Josh thought. They were the same. Lure you in, trample you heart, but instead of letting you break away clean, there was all this muddling confusion, all this talking. "I have feelings for you, Josh." "I have feelings for you, too," he said. "Obviously." He had called it love to his father and he might have used the word with Melanie if it hadn't been for this this morning. "It's only two more weeks," Melanie said. "What's the point of ending it now?" What was the point of ending it now? Well, for one thing, Josh felt in control right now. Sort of. Peter's visit was a blessing in disguise, maybe; it gave Josh the impetus to get out while his head was still above water - because the possibility of drowning in Melanie, in his feelings, his love for her, was very real. "
I guess all the guys have the same mindset when girls cheated their feelings. Tsktsk.
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Meerkats[ 1:37 PM ]
Today, I watched something different. I was browsing through the top rated movies and I came across this. Its a documentary but it IS a movie. And I tell you, you should watch this movie. I would rate it 10/10 man. Totally awesome. Its about a family of meerkat who helps each other and stuff. And there was a sad scene like the brother risk his life to save his little brother. Just watch it. Its a mixture of horror, comedy and very emotional. And of course its a story of a family ad love. We humans, should learn from them. Watch watch! wartog.info/watch/937c5bd9e7d41d3686ff/The-Meerkats
Thursday, July 23, 2009
[ 11:10 PM ]
This is so random. tsktsk.
We had a good chat on the latest gossip. Apparently, there has been a rumour about this old lady selling crackers at your doorstep. You have to buy the crackers if you came across this lady or else it was believed that the "idkwhat'sitcalled" thing will came into your house or whatever shit. Well, ok we make some jokes about this. Haha, and it is super funny. But fyi, this thing does happen. And somehow she's wandering in Tampines or something?
Anywayanyway, he reccommended me to watch this malay movie, Syurga Cinta. OHMYGOODNESS, damn sweeeeet I tell you. Go watch! :D
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
[ 11:46 PM ]
Your score on this personality test was 49%
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a longer time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
OHMYGOODNESS. SO DAMN LOW?! But whatever it is, it is true la. Read that! The last few bits are extremely true.
Trusting is not meant to be broken. Trusting is all about someone who breaks the promises and you still trust them no matter what. Its believing that is destroyed. Know the difference?
Does he exist?[ 11:26 PM ]
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...
Dedicated to FATIN![ 10:39 PM ]
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
Fatin, he walks out of your life but we never did and never will. :D
"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."
Hope we did! Haha :D
Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it is a comfort to go hand in hand."
Yes, remember this! So lets walk to school one day. One hand for me. And one hand for Iqah. Kaukau can have your feet. HAHAHA. Kk, kiddings. :D
“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.”
Don't think about your past. And don't be afraid to face your future. Because wherever u're heading, remember that you always have us.
"Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart.”
And although we are far apart, like Im in E3 and you're in W1..we are still close in hearts. HAHA
Ok, just some entertainment especially for Fatin. I feel so damn guilty that I've not been there for her when I know I should. Sorry k Fatin. Because, alot of things happened lately and Im struggling with my own life. Meet one day and tell us all about it. And don't be an emokid okay. Because that is not how you dealt with this kind of situation. And please, don't do anything stupid. I know you won't but just an advise. Haha.
I really hope you came across this and read this! Because this is meant for you. Only you!
Do take the quotes seriously. Because we really mean it. HAHA. Okay, Ily.
And please, last advise, DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID. :D
you're a letdown[ 8:56 PM ]
Today my class is having the formal wear modules. Its been days and today is my class turn. I was not bothered to dress formally since I still remembered there was a day I did dress up formally and turns out none actually did. So thinking that maybe today, it would be the same thing, I decided that I dress up nicely but not formally. And you could see the shocked on my face when I see all were wearing something so extraordinary and better then what I expected. With guys wearing ties and girls with high heels. Ohmygoodness. I feel so low class compared to them. Anyway, today's module is kind of exciting. We did some interviewing and so forth. Well, I took the interviewer job thinking that it would be an easy task. But oh hell, I think the observer is the best job. Just sit and observe. Hah! So, I had to interview Agatha and my company was Albert Court Hotel hiring a front desk. I spoilt the session by laughing non-stop. I don't know why but somewhere nearby me has a laughing gas which always makes me laugh. And this time, I really did not appreciate it because acting professionally is graded. Die la. Well, it's been an awesome experienced for me and of course, the whole class. Cheers to them who actually did an extra mile to dress up DAMN formal. They really did a good job. :D
_________________________________
I could say that I am a forgiving person even though at times, it took me a while to do that. I quarrel with people, blaming them, but then, I would realised my mistake and try to amend it. When people did mistakes to me, I do forgive but sometimes, I tend to let them suffer just so they know it is their mistake and they should bear it. But of course, I do forgive. I forgive people easily but my actions does it all. However, forgiving and forgetting is two different things. It took a seconds to forgive someone but a lifetime to forget the mistakes done. I can forgive people countless of times but I can never promise to forget it. And of course there are another scenarios whereby it is just hard for me to forgive and forget. This took me awhile to forgive, which I would, but a long time. This is when I forgive and remind them not to do it again, and they still did. Again and again. It just gets into my nerve and don't ever deny it would makes you feel the same way if someone were to do it to you. Its like my words were never being considered, never taken seriously. Which utterly upset me. And its worse when the same thing happen is all because lack of trust. How hard was it to trust? Tell me. I know we cannot trust people easily. But people who shares a bonding, either relationship or friendship or whatsoever, need to trust each other. And how devastated was I to handle this. If it seems so hard for you to trust, then we might be very well part our own ways. There are at times, I wanted to go beside you and ask if everything is ok, comforting in any way I can. But your actions just hurt too much. You expecting me to care for your feelings, but let me ask you this, have you ever cared mine? Don't just speak the words out loud. Comprehend it and act the way u say it. You think you did, but you did the opposite.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
where's my pride?[ 11:21 PM ]
Watched My Sassy Girl and it is a moving story. Well, I do believe in destiny. & whatever happens in the movie does happen in this world or so I believed.
Life is threatening me right now. Scares me to death I could say. Im afraid to go out and face this battle. It seems like Im going to lose. No point of fighting. Everything is against me. Grateful to have people who I know are always there to support me. But it is not enough. I just want my own life back. Back to the olden days where Im happy and can do anything without giving a second thought. Fight back, defend yourself is what people say. But words are easier then actions. Im trying hard but Im getting weaker by every seconds. I just need someone who will be there to take over this battle. Or maybe I could end it by surrendering. Giving in and obeying everything. To me, its a relieve but to everyone, Im a loser. Just so they know how suffering it is to fight back.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Republik - Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu[ 8:54 PM ]
Ku telah miliki Rasa indahnya perihku Rasa hancurnya harapku Kau lepas cintaku Rasakan abadi Sekalipun kau mengerti Sekalipun kau pahami Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu
Aku hanya ingin kau tahu Besarnya cintaku Tingginya khayalku bersamamu
Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini Di setiap hariku Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku
ow wooo wo wo wo
Walaupun semua hanya ada dalam mimpiku Hanya ada dalam anganku Melewati hidup
Rasakan abadi Sekalipun kau mengerti Sekalipun kau pahami Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu
Aku hanya ingin kau tahu Besarnya cintaku Tingginya khayalku bersamamu
Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini Di setiap hariku Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku
Aku hanya ingin kau tahu Besarnya cintaku Tingginya khayalku bersamamu
Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini Di setiap hariku Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku
[ 7:59 PM ]
Yay, I've watched it! The movie is not that bad ok. Although there is not much action but it is still nice to the core. Only die hard fan of Harry Potter would say this. Heh. K lame. But its true that some of the scenes are not shown like in the books. It is sad though to see Dumbledore dead. Aww..And no Dobby in this movie ): Nehmind, can't wait for the last one! Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. Dobby and a lot of people will dieeeee. Sure alot of actions! (:
So, right after the movie, we went straight home since I was dog-tired. I slept at 5.30 mind you. Im still beat now but its ok, I can withstand it till tonight. Might have an early night then.
Hah, I know I skipped school for the lamest reason ever. And tmr will skip school again with another unreasonably lame reason. Oh well, see my wonderful classmate on Wed then! (:
Sunday, July 19, 2009
[ 6:32 PM ]
Bear with the super selenge face. Hahahahahahhaa.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
half blood prince[ 11:52 PM ]
Humpfh. uebfuewbvjubjew. sbdje jueiwv.
Like wth. Ppl say Harry Potter movie not nice. Wth. Is it true? Wth.
Oh I still gonna watch it. Hah.
JNWBDI(@U*G#&Y> !!!!
peace[ 11:17 PM ]
I felt something good...
relieved.
We do not err because truth is difficult to see. It is visible at a glance. We err because this is more comfortable. --Alexander Solzhenitsyn
err..
Orange Ribbon ![ 8:59 PM ]
Yes, Im back from Orange Ribbon thingy! Awesome-ness caaaaaan. Let me start from the first.
Well, we supposed to meet at 1 and Iqah reached awesomely early. So I had to lie to her to get her to my home. HAHA. She had lunch at my home. Then, at 1 we went out. Know whyyyy, because its like less than 5 mins walk. And even though we're a bit late, we're one of the early earthlings. Hah. So we early comers get the group marshall job. Damn sad because alot of responsibilites. I want to take care of drink booth actually. Anyway, lets forget that. So Im suppose to lead the group 18. And it turns out to be all malay. Im so heartbroken because I absolutely can't communicate perfect malay. Buuuuuut, misinterpret it. I had the most awesome of awesomely best of the bestest group ever. Cool of the coolness maaan. They practically take part in all the games and stuffs. Thats how cool they are rather than some who prefer to sit and watched. Hah! But then, I leave them halfway since they can very well manage on their own. Went to Syafiqah who sadly does not have any group due to some reason. So I very the baik hati (ehem2) who teman her the whole day. Hah! Such a good friend I am. (:
So we walked around the booths and take part all the games. Eh, first time ok I participate. Must give me some credits for that. Hees. Anyway, make some new friends from other school and all. (: Great experience. And I waste my money to buy coupons when I can actually get it for free. Wth. So I went home with loads of food! And I did henna for freeeeeee. (:
My group being the kindest soul say I no need to send them to their bus. So I can go on with my friends. Played soccer and stuffs. Its damn embarrassing since I can barely kick a ball and I played with the awesome player. Haha. Oh well, overall it is really a great experience I tell you. Will sure take part in some events like this. Woots! (:
Ok done. HAHAHA. Awwww.
____________________________________
Maybe, if you know the real reason, you will hate me. And maybe its hurtful. And maybe, you will blame me for everything. But, its harder for me to say it. And I would feel more hurt. And maybe I blame my life. I just wish I have a life. A life like everyone else. Then, everything would be different. Relationship is temporary in life. Get this straight to your mind. You think its easy to be on my side, try to be in my shoe, & you will know how much Im suffering.
Its something I kept in my heart. No one else knew it. No one No one No one. Because it is just too "not logical" enough.
I should have told the truth in the first place shouldn't I? Then, I won't lie and continue lying. Im sooooo tired. with life.
____________________________________
No pictures taken because Im busy having fun. Heh. My friends did. But don't know if she will upload it in fb anot. (:
[ 10:54 AM ]
If I consider yours, will I be able to consider mine? If I can't understand myself, how can I understand others?
We forgive mistakes. But mistakes won't forgive us.
Its haunting. Its nightmare.
Sometimes, its better if I just end my world here. Isn't that the best way to run away from everything.
Just Lucky.[ 9:00 AM ]
Good morning precious earthlings! Im wake early because I've yet to do my RJ since I slept the minute I reached home and never woke up till midnight. I must be very well damn tired. Haha. Well, of course I am. I only slept at 3am and woke up at 6. 3 whole hours is definitely not a beauty sleep. So now Im all fresh and ready to start the day! Sort of. Anyway, today's RJ (reflection journal) use alot of thinking. The question is What is my best achievement in life so far? I was stuck and I stare at my screen thinking what could be it. I really don't have one. Im still too young to achieve something that is best. So I came up with few possiblities which is finished my O levels, win some medals and so on. Then, I begin to think the deeper meaning of achievement. Something that is an achievement without getting a prize that I could look at and then put in the cupboard. Thats when I think of my friends. And this what I answered my RJ. Short and simple. But meaningful. HAHA.
Anyway, today is the day Im volunteering for the Orange Ribbon at Bishan Active. Luck is on my side since it is barely 5 minutes walk from my home. Cool uh. Haha I can take my time walking there. Like yay! (:
Friday, July 17, 2009
[ 10:49 AM ]
An A for Cognitive UT 1 ! Gosh or what?! Omgomgomg. The subject I hate the most and I got an A! Woohoo! (:
And Im counting down days to monday. Hees. Goodbye school.
&& it was a false alarm. HAHA. Turns out to be another girl with the same name who happens to be in the same class as her. LOL
[ 10:34 AM ]
Whitley school sms-ed my dad stating that my sister is not in school. Wahh, shocking man. My mum tried to call home and her hp but to no avail. The thing is my sister is not like that although she would take up any chances of skipping school. She would tell my mum that she lazy go to school. This time, she actually went to sch early in the morning. With school uniform. Peer influence I guess. All I can say is all the best to her when she reached home. HAHA. Gee, what a good sister I am.
lost[ 1:34 AM ]
the furthest distance in the world is not between life and death; its when Im standing right in front of you but you never see me
When we lost a friend or someone who is special, never blame the other side. Don't blame any side. Because its your choice. We choose to end it when we can save it. We choose to ignore the wrong parts when we can actually make it right. We choose to walk away when you actually can stay right there. Its choices; intentionally or not. Blame choices when these happens.
It takes one party to make everything alright again. But somehow, breaking apart still happens in the world. We don't blame choices when both parties wanted to make it right after what happens and yet didn't. Thats when we blame our pride and egoistic. It is common in human nature. Everyone has it. No wonder breaking up happens all the time.
True? Its my own personal thought. I welcome disagreements.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
there you go again[ 11:06 PM ]
If I were selfish, then explain to me what are you?
I've let the past be a memory. But Im not letting go of the present. That's how selfish I am. Ever wonder, whats my other side of story? Ever wonder, did you really mean all those written words and promises you gave me? Because somehow, somewhat, right now, right this moment, this minute, all of it seems like a dream that happens in reality. Its not true at all and yet, it happened.
Ever think, even for a moment, if you really care and wants to be my side forever, you could sit even for just a second and listen what I've got to say?
Have you ever think at all? Ever consider it? Ever at all? It seems Never.
us = lameness[ 10:18 PM ]
HAHAHAHAHAA. Yes, totally true.
Jaga had a few riddles for me to solve.
1 ) Whats green and sticky? My ans is - green sticker but sadly its wrong. It is stick? I don't know where is the funny part. I think mine is funnier.
2) What did batman say to robin before getting into his car? Ans: Robin get into the car. HAHA, very "funny" I was thinking of something to do with the hood. You know, robin"hood" HAHAHAH
3) What do you call a 3 legged donkey? My ans is - Handicapped donkey. But the ans is Wonkey. So..the w is the funny thing isit? I don't get this joke. HAHA
4) Why did the tomato blush? Ans: Cause it saw the salad dressings. HAHA.
5) What did the apple say to the orange? Ans: Apples don't talk. Lame to the max. Hahaha..
And I asked him back, What did the banana ask the apple? And the answer is - Where is orange? HAHAHAHA. Ok I know my joke is laaaame. HAHAHAH
And this "smartass" boy, uses dog shampoo for his hair. How smart can he be? HAHA. Gosh.
step forward[ 9:43 PM ]
Finally, the one whom I thought I could never forget is out of my mind. No longer do I think or even care about him. All was just a memory. I've let myself accept the reality and allow myself to face my future with confidence.
Its about time I let go of the past and not to hold on to it. Failing once does not mean failed forever. That is what I've got to believe in myself. It took awhile for me to move on and I've wonder what took me so long. It felt so serene when I've let go the burden.
So long, memories.
headbang[ 11:23 AM ]
Syafiqah won't stop laughing at me about yesterday's incidence. It happened in the MRT. I got a seat and slept through the whole journey. My head kept jerking forward and sway left and right. Suddenly, without warning, my head jerked backward. There was no brake from the MRT and for no reason, my head just need to move back. And I bang the window. Real hard I tell you. I thought it was a soft bang, but no. Iqah was laughing her ass out beside me and I woke up immediately. She said it was loud. And of all the days, yesterday had to be day full of hot guys. HAHAHA. And alot of malay. 3/4 of the cabin is all malay. Embarrassed shit man. And my head hurts real bad la. I swear Im gonna bring pillow one day. LOL.
I am absolutely awed by Zul's talent! Gee, he's poem is sweet man.
http://www.postpoems.com/members/bueno_el_chico
Go and read and feel it. ;D
S[ 9:00 PM ]
This is quite a long time ago movie. But I swear I've never watched it. Jaga showed me some parts of it and its damn scary can. Its not scary scary, but more to..gore? But really, many thumbs up for this movie!
M[ 8:32 PM ]
2 more days for school and hello weekends!
Tomorrow is science and its biology with a bit of chem or so I heard. Im going to do my best again tomorrow. Last week, I was the leader and for the first time, I scored A! Happy or what. Well, gotten A before that but it was not counted. So I only score ONE awesome A in science. Nvm, I'll try to score more.
Today enterprise I learn about personality and the suitable job for us. Well, I got the ISFJ which is more into social? And IM happy with the job that is suitable for me.
http://www.iusb.edu/~sbcareer/assets/ISFJ.pdf
Thats mine. I don't really know the rest. Try go google it la k. (:
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A[ 10:31 PM ]
Trying to reach out for it that was barely there at all. Knowing that no matter how far I stretch my hands out, I could only grasp the thin air. Nevertheless, I would continue to achieve what I hope for. As what people say, we have to try before giving up. I know whatever I do will benefit nothing and get myself entangled in this mess instead. But, I don't care. For once, I want to try something. And it would be my last.
Funny how I get to know new friends and they always seems to have a connection with my friends. Haha. Oh yes, I make quite a few of new friends lately. But really, just friends. Like I say, I won't get into the next step till Im ready. I meant what I said. I don't say it for the sake of saying. So guys, really I want us to be friends. (:
And maybe it will take me years to have someone special. But for what I know, its worth the wait.
I want to say a few words out loud. I want to explain everything that seems to go wrong. I want it to be at the right track again. I want to tell that whatever it is, it is the opposite. But I know Im wasting my time, so it always remain deep down in my heart. It all depends on the other party, whether she/he is willing to listen or not. Im still waiting.
I[ 9:32 PM ]
1 more UT to go and I'll be free like a kite flying on air. For awhile though. Once the wind stop, I would drop down and get my head back to UT 3. tsktsk.
Nothing much happening lately. Just the random stuff in school then straight back home. Feelings was never better. Maybe it gets a wee bit worse but somehow, Im still standing strong here. No big fuss about whatever shit that has been coming in my life. Im enduring it and it is still manageable.
So that is what split personality basically means. And know what? It fits me well. So I have a split personality. And I think I read somewhere about it being a disease? HAHA. Gosh.
[ 12:02 PM ]
OMG. My blog ugly duckling can. ):
[ 12:26 AM ]
The thing about me is I blurt out whatever I want to say right at that moment. No thinking of the consequences and so forth. I just say it out loud. Or I might just blog it and say things that are really in my heart without even thinking twice to publish it. To cut short, I just tend to hurt people without even thinking that it hurts them. Get it? I might feel satisfied after I let it all out but the ending was never better. I always feel remorseful and at a point of time, I just swear profanities to myself. Taking back the words I've said was impossible.
And another thing about me is that I've got big ego. I know egoistic people never admits themselves as egoist. But, I'll accept it because I know I am. I always want to win all the time even if at times it was my fault. I never wanted to apologies. Actually, I would, but if it is really my fault. I want evidence and rational thinking before I can made up my mind to apologize. It was lucky that I've got some people who actually stayed with me in life this far.
Oh well, I think I've said sorry a little too much this year and yet it seems worthless. Like for god sake, from never saying sorry at all jump into saying sorry most of the time is a big jump okay. Humongous jump alright. Yet, I was never appreciated. I never change. Oh wow, like people know me since I was born. Even my mum thinks I've changed now as I said sorry more than before. Was saying sorry a change of being worse or no change at all?
As I said, nobody knows me well enough to judge me. Maybe you know me for months and realized nothing changed about me. But I do. Really, I do. I just hope I was given an enough time to prove it. Time is not a matter of weeks or months. It took me years to know who is my true friends. It took me forever to trust people. Changing something out of you is worth more than that. Because it is changing yourself. Your truly self. That is hard as a hard rod metal that won't break no matter how hard you try to break it.
Monday, July 13, 2009
NAH, FOR YOU[ 11:44 PM ]
"Just to prove i was right that it's harder to be friends than lovers and you shouldn't try and mix the two, cause if you do and then you're still unhappy, then you know that the problem is you." - Liz Phair
"And the days went by like paper in the wind. Everything changed, then changed again. It's hard to find a friend. It's hard to find a friend." - Tom Petty
"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." - Richard Bach
"We've gone our own ways and I know its for the best, but sometimes I wonder will I ever have a friend like you again?" -Blink 182
A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.
Nuffnang[ 11:14 PM ]
HAHA. omg this is funny.
As you all know, I joined that Nuffnang thing which I am really clueless about. I swear I don't even know what it is all about. I just see alot of people using it and I joined but I didn't see what is the big deal about it.
Well, I decided to see today. For fun. And oh wow I can actually see how many people viewed me? So today, I had 38 viewers from 8am to 9pm. HAHA. cool or what? And they rated my blog 3/5? Eh not bad okay, so you shut your mouth up. This is funny shit.
HAHAHA.
And I got the feeling that its not exactly 38 viewers. I won't get that much readers to read my blog. That means I have a number 1 fan reader here. HAHAHA.
Back to the past[ 9:05 PM ]
Okay, I've learnt analyzing today. So I've analyzed something. Haha. And I came up with a conclusion/decision.
This might take slightly longer than what I wanted. But then I am willing to wait.
I wish I have wands like harry potter so I can cast a spell that forget the past mistakes. I wish I am God so I can forgive all the mistakes done by me and people I love. I wish I am fairytale that lives happily ever after.
And I wish I have friends who walk behind me, catch up with me and walk by my side all the way. Not leaving me behind.
Sadly, its wishes. Wishes never come true no matter how hard you pray.
When it does happen, its miracle.
But miracle does not happen to everyone. It does not happen all the time.
All we have is chances. And I blew it away, assertive that I have miracle.
Stupid huh?
Friday, July 10, 2009
[ 11:52 AM ]
Gosh. Im down with fever, sore throat and headache. I need the strength to do ut later. I don't have panadol and Im like damn weak. Urgh.
Sorry - Jonas Brothers[ 10:54 AM ]
Thursday, July 9, 2009
[ 10:06 PM ]
Had a talk with someone about the recent situations Im having. I was shocked to hear her opinions after that. "Maybe you really are falling in love.." Denying is the best way. I won't want to fall in love right this moment. No matter how much I wanted or how deeply I fall for the person, I won't ever fall in love. I would like but I won't love.
What makes me ponder is if it is really true what she had said. Is this what being in love feels like? Being overly too concern about something and keeps worrying about it. Like how I got too uptight on this particular thing when I should not be because its already over.
I should not care nor should I be sad about it. Its what the other party wanted and I should respect the decisions made.
Its too obvious isn't it till people could sense it. But we can't pretend that nothing is wrong when it is. Because its not easy to pretend and act normal as u think. Putting on 2 mask at the same time is suffering. Some people just don't understand that and came up with a deduction that I am not serious/does not care about stuffs like this.
Let's just say different people has different ways of dealing things. I acted happy when I should not because people around me would feel awkward. Its not like as though I wanted to act but I should. Thats the least I could do rather than mourning the whole day and emo-ing one corner.
Some just understand me so much than I could understand myself but the sad thing is, they won't make an effort to react/think/say to me that would hurt me.
Anyway, today I became a counselor to both of my girlfriends, Syiqin and Fatin.
Fatin, hopefully you make the right decisions after what we have talked. Whatever it is, don't ever regret it. If you can't forget him, the least you could do is to accept him whole-heartedly. Nobody is perfect and so is him. Maybe soon or somday, he would listen to you. Don't ever give up on advising him aites! Im always here to support you(:
Syiqin, your problem is one of a kind problem. What's with love triangle and mamak stalker. AHHAHAHA. but really, it is great talking about it.
So now, who is willing to counsel me on my problems? HAHAHA
[ 12:30 PM ]
The Bottom Line
Excitement is simmering. Something big is coming, and you can sense it, can't you?
In Detail
The folks you've been associating with for months now will be only too happy to back you up, no matter what you need or when you need it. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to agree to let them help you -- your part is to swallow your pride. You can do it, and think of how good they'll feel about themselves after they've realized you've actually let someone help you, for a change.
Horoscope of the day! (: Hmm, something big is coming huh? Oh well, let see what is it then!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
this post is not for YOU to read![ 8:57 PM ]
Everyone, I will be changing my url and privatised my blog sooon. So please do give me ur email for me to invite you aites. Because apparently, I don't want some strangers reading up my post and thinks that Im talking about them. Oh btw, Im not referring to YOU over there, stranger. Ok? Great!
I think I laugh alot today. More than before. And maybe because of that, I cried. In front of my mum sammore. Omg. I cried alot this year. Fucking shit man. But please eh, I've got my excuses to cry. I am not a crybaby la pls. Shall not elaborate about it because somehow I was forced to do so or Im in big trouble. Pity me eh..as if I am being controlled which is somehow true. HAHA. Ok shut up.
Today's ut is somehow easy. Instincts told me that I would done it better than the first ut test. Despite the drama before the test and my head all gone haywired, I still can focused on the test.
Oh btw, just a random question yeah. Would you control your friends of everything they're doing? If you don't like what they's doing, would you actually end their friendship? Again, I repeat, it is just a random question aites. So stranger(s), don't take it to your heart.
Anyway, what I want you all to know is that if you want me to change for the better, be it benefiting others too and not only yourself. You might not like it, but others don't feel the same way. And I should press on this - friendship and relationship has boderlines on it. Its not the same. Don't ever be confused between those two aites.
One more thing, if I have tried my best to change and yet I fail, that does not mean its the end of the friendship. I may give in and accept people's critism and try to better, but if it doesn't work, it can't be forced. I won't apologise if what Im doing is not up to your liking because majority doesn't feel the same way.
And yes, I have my limitations too. Once we're over, its really over and done ok? Oops, I think I've talk more than I should. But I should press on this again, this post is not meant for anyone. No matter what your instincts/thoughts or whatever shit tells you it is, ITS NOT MEANT FOR ANYONE. It is just a random post ok. Just a post on what people should knw about me. Moreover, this is MY blog, MY say. Don't tell me what to post or not to post. That's bullshit. (!)
Thank you.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
[ 10:13 PM ]
HAHA. It took me 48 Days to realise that Cognitive Process is an interesting topic. HAHAHA.
Monday, July 6, 2009
7 July[ 11:27 AM ]
Tomorrow marks the 365th day of something special to me. If only it will lasted till these days, I would be the happiest girl like Cinderella. It is woeful to celebrate something that is no longer there. Something that used to be special between us. Nevertheless, it would still be a special date for me. (:
& Happy birthday in advance to Syiqin. Haha(:
[ 12:58 AM ]
If only I have someone that can listen/see/feel to my other side of life, I wouldn't be crying myself to sleep at night.
define love for me[ 12:09 AM ]
Don't ever say you would do anything to your love ones, because when they ask you to forget them, you can't.
Don't ever say you won't move on when you're hurt, because one day you might.
Don't ever say you won't love anymore when you've failed once, because it might come to you again.
Don't ever say you love them till your last breath, because feelings does go away when you are still breathing...
Something that just comes from my mind. Its my own perception aye.
Somebody defines love for me. because Im clueless about it.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
[ 11:35 PM ]
So today my family went to nenek house. It was a last minute thing indeed. We reached there around 8+ and went home about 9.30pm. But, my dad drove all the way to Changi Airport T3 because I've been bragging about cream puffs since morning. There's other places of course, but in Changi Airport very easy to park. I think we walked around the whole T3 for like 3 times and sadly, no cream puffs. In the end, we bought Mr. Bean pancakes. I was so saaad that I refused to eat. Well, that is basically me. When I want something, I want right that minute. Well, once Im in the car, I ate the pancake afterall. Haha. But, Im still devastated ok. Im like pregnant lady. Hahaha. That's what my mum says la. LOL.
So, I decided that tomorrow I will go Bugis Junction and look for it. I don't care if there's no one to accompany me and I have to go alone, which is so unlikely of me. I just need to find that crean puffs and sink my teeth into these scrumptious puffs! umm, yummy :P
[ 12:50 PM ]
I WANT CREAM PUFFS PRETTY PLEASEEEEE. I don't know why the sudden craving but really I just want to hold it and taste it right this minute! Arghhh! See that, so tempting. *drooling*
(If I love this guy, I will hold on to him until he says he loves me then I will let him go...) HAHAHA. What the heck, Farah? Why so mushy2 ah ni?
Didn't bring thermometer today. Thankfully, Iqah had extras. There's no battery obviously as it was her old thermometer around 6 years ago. LOL.
It was pretty much a short day today although school ends at the same time. This is because math is easy. We end slightly early and went home by cab with Iqah, Aqi, Fifi and Syahidah. Its pretty convenient and with the 5 of us, we shared the taxi amount among us which we only pay 80cents each. Haha.
Ate in ljs at Bishan with Aqi and Iqah, although Iqah didn't but she was there accompanying us. Oh, today I had a surprised message from sister. She asked me if I wanted a cheese fries. It may not seem surprising at all but it is to me. Really. Never in my life, she asked if I wanted something. Haha. Right then, what I can think of is that something fishy is going on here. She could have need some help from me. But, I was wrong. She was just being nice. That is the surprise of the surprise. HAHA. Since when is my sister so nice to me huh?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Bandito Pockett !!![ 9:32 PM ]
I just got back with mum. So you could probably guess what have we done. Shop. I want to cry can?! Like I promise to save. And the next minute, I spend it in a blink of eye. So, I bought a shoe, powder and a foundation. It's not even a quarter of my list and my bank is almost dry. Neneh. Not forgetting treating family KFC. So, the remains in my bank be good in there. Im sobbing hard in my heart right now.
On the bright side, Bandito Pockett is baaaack! Cool or what! Yesyes, my fave! Woohooo! (:
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Brother Bear[ 11:24 PM ]
Just finished watching Brother Bear in Disney channel. One of my TOP favourites. Have you watched it? If not, why are you still alive?!(Laro's quote) HAHAHA
Oh yes, you have to watch it. And let me tell you this, don't ever miss a single scene. The movie just touches your heart like how it did to mine. Awwww. Go watch it. Gogo!
I've watched for the 12th time so far. Since sec 2 I think. Well, it was coincidence actually. Me and sis went to the shop to rent a disc. Sadly, nothing caught our eyes and well, we had no choice and just chose that. We were rather hesitant to watch but we did eventually. That was when I fell in love with Brother Bear! I watched for 3-4 times. Then I returned the disc. And I rent it back a few weeks after. Hahahaha. Then, it was played in Disney Channel. Recently, like a few months ago, again, it is showed on Disney channel and we recorded it. Yes, so now I can just watch it over and over again. Today, again, I watched it and my mum was nagging me. She can practically memorise the movie and she was sick of watching it. But I DON'T. HAH!
Another movie would be Monster Inc. Another of my all time favourite. That one also another movie which I have watched countless time till my family can remember every single scene. Lol. Thanks to me. (: Hahaha.
[ 4:49 PM ]
I've still got an endless list of movies to watch. Yet, tomorrow school starts. Urgh. Why oh whyyyyy. Not looking forward for tomorrow. Who cares if there's no teachers to scold, no real homeworks to do. It is still a school.
Half Blood Prince[ 2:45 PM ]
Oh2! Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is coming soon! It will be out on..12 July? I think so. But I know its in July. Ahhhhhh! I need to find someone to watch it with me. Woohooooo! (:
Harry Potter![ 2:30 PM ]
So yesterday, again movie marathon. This time I watched Ghost of Girlfriends Past halfway. It was barely halfway, I watched for only around 18 mins? I stopped because it was kinda bored to me. I would watched some other time maybe. Then I watched Confession of a shopaholic. A great movie for girls especially a spendthrift like me. But it still doesn't motivate me to save somehow. Haha. Then I move on to slumdog millionaire. Another great movie. After that watched Another Cinderella story. Then, Wall-E which I skipped when its barely even started because I found out that it would be on TV on Sunday(my sister says so). Then, I watched The Sisterhood Of Trevelling Pants 2. The thing is, I don't even know I actually have watched the 3 previous movie. It was only halfway through the movie that I realised the scene was familiar and when I asked my sis, she said yeah I've watched it. LOL.Ok, last movie was Hannah Montana The Movie. Not bad I guess.
Today, my sister is homed for E-learning. Menyebok ajer. -.- The problem is my laptop cannot use wireless which I dunno why while hers can. But then, she refused to use wireless because it keeps getting disconnected. So, as a big sister, I have to give in. Pathetic la. But, eh nice of me ok to do that. Very rarely I give in to my sister. So while she is using the laptop to study and I had to sacrificed my E-learning for her, I watched a movie marathon of Harry Potter. THE WHOLE VOLUME. So far, I've watched it for FOUR times EXCLUDING watching in theatre and TVs. I've watched four times in..2 months? Woaaah, I am a number one fan of Harry Potter. HAHA.
Well, since now I can use my laptop..maybe I'll watched another movie. Its not like I did this all the time. Since it is so-called "holidays" for me, why not I used the time to watched all the movies that I havenot/forget/don'tknow about. So yeah. (: