Hello, my name is Dian Farhana
Friends call me Dian. Colleagues/teachers/faci/strangers prefer calling me Farhana.
I don’t why, they just do. -.-
For me? I’m fine with both, really. (:
I have a lot of nicknames; some are too embarrassing to state down.
Well, I’m officially legal as of 8 February 1992. Nothing to brag off actually.
Yes, it sure sounds sexciting and I do anticipate for this special day.
But once it’s over, it’s over. My life goes on, still the same every single day. -.-
I’m taking a diploma in RP majoring in Sports and Leisure management.
This may not be my first choice but still, I am really glad I get into this course.
I shall live my hopes on seeing my one and only idol, Usain Bolt.
Yes, I’m a big fan of him because I go “wow” when I see him runs and I go “oooh~” when he wins. :p
Oh well, it was just a wish. I hope it would come true though. :D USAIN BOLT, please visit Singapore, pretty please with millions cherries on tops.
One word, nine letters to describe myself.
I’m different; metaphorically though.
I’m different in a way that I have my own mindset and my thoughts, my belief; my thinking is different from others.
I guess I belong to the minority groups that think the same way as I do.
I think I am anti-social.
Honestly, I’m not a person who mingles with strangers and hit off with them like polaroid instantly.
I am quiet when I’m alone. But once I’m with a bunch of crazy friends around me, be prepared to see me being crazier than them.
I don’t like noisy places or worse, crowded places.
I just have this feeling that everyone is staring at me and that is scary.
I pity my parents most of the time because they are usually pressured whenever we are dining out.
I am born to be stubborn. That’s something you have to bear with me.
I want things to go my way. I am extremely determined to achieve what I want and it must happen.
I am very demanding. Try go against me, I’ll give you a triple worse attitude. Wanna give it a try?
I am egoistic, that I can’t deny. I always wanted to win. But sometimes (rarely). I would relent; that’s when you guys are lucky though.
I don’t like people who use profanities.
I can’t stand people saying it even though it’s once in a while.
But sometimes, I do say it too. :p But I’ll regret and smack my mouth.
I rarely feel angry. I guess that’s the only positive thing I am proud of myself.
But once I do, I’ll go extremely superbly quiet.
I guess I’ve learnt it since I was small to always keep my mouth shut.
That’s why it’s hard for me to console people who are angry with me.
Oh, but at the same time I am a rebel person too. Contradicting, I know.
But I would only rebel when things doesn’t go my way.
I rebel in my quiet way. I may be quiet when I am angry but I rebel at the same time. Get it?
I’m patient. Patience with limits. Be friends with me and you‘ll know how high my patience is.
Im not perfect.
And there’s still more weakness in me which I’ve yet to reveal.
Despite all these imperfections, I have a fair share of my strength in myself.
But that is for you guys to judge me. Now enough about myself.
Meet my one and only boyfriend, Nadhir Osman.
♥ My one love, my one heart, my one life for sure.♥
22.02.2010, that’s the special date. And it is special to us somehow in terms of the numeric terms.
As cliché as it may sound, but he completes my life.
He’s my best friend, my best companion, my best advisor, my best everything.
He may not be the most perfect guy in every girl’s eye, but he is to me.
His imperfections are perfect enough to be my better half.
Our relationship may not be as those like in fairytales.
We live in a place called reality.
We’ve had our share of fights and arguments but we never let them get us down.
How much I love him, why do I love him..it’s better left unsaid.
Just so all of you know, HE knows, that I love him truly; always and forever, eternity and beyond.♥
Monday, November 30, 2009
[ 3:23 PM ]
Do you realize what you are to me? What you’re always going to be? You are the love of my life, and everyone else will always be second best. There will never be another you.
definitely.
(':[ 11:14 AM ]
My ah lian (:
Donna – Eh minah, why you so sad? Come tell me. I can lend you my ear. I got two ears sammore. Buy 1 get 1 free. LOL
Thanks for your jokes (:
A friend who always try to cheer me up (:
Haikal – lawl u seem to be goin thru a hard process Me- You can say so Haikal – Awww, staaay strong yeah (: Haikal – besides I have lots of jokes that can crack you up (: and stories to tell to pass some time. Haha Me – Awwww. U so sweeeeet Haikal – hah aim just here to heeelp. No strings attached (: Haikal – Smile muccch. No use crying for someone who doesn’t cry for you (: Me – Haha..i will take note of that (: Haikal – haha so first things first give me a hi 5 Me - *hi 5* !!! Haikal – Hmmm what is ur faaaaaav food? Me – Anything that has no vege Haikal – Okay I’ll keep that in mind when I cook for you!
Thanks for always being there for me (:
Sara (:
Sara – Hang in there ok? :) Me- Hmmm.. )’: Sara – aww love! Don’t be so hard on yourself kay? *hugs* Me - I’ll try (: thanks for caring. *hugs back* (: Sara – later I give you lollipop okay? :) Me – hahaha! Awwww, so sweet (: Sara – sweet right! Because it Sara!
Thanks for your lollipop (:
Nad (:
Nad – I love you lots Me – Love you lots more! (: Nad – noooo I love u much much more x1000 Me – I love u infinity uh. Hah! I win :D lol Nad – hahaxha...nt fair =p Nad – dnrt sad….i kick his doo dooo head for u later k? =)
Thanks for cracking me up (:
Syiqin (:
Syiq - OI APE NI SAD SAD ): <> Me - Dah memang sad..nk buat ape.. Syiq - TAPI KAU SUKER DIER DAH LAMER SIA Me - tau tkpe Syiq - korang dah cute miut gitu abeh dah "break-up" -___-'' ape ni ): Syiq - ): <> Syiq - abeh aku happy happy dilamun cinta. abeh kau mcm ni -____- Me - awwww..its ok dear..be happy ok..i will be ok soon, don't worry … … Me - u mean u like a girl? Syiq - MAYBE I LIKE BOTH Me - wooohhooooo! i was just about to turn lesbian hahaha Syiq - HAHAHAHAHAHA.CANNOT LIVE. if you lesbian, date me
I will :p
Thanks Akeh. Thanks Diyana. Thanks Izzah. Thanks Meira. And many more people who try to cheer me up. Awww..
Thanks you guys. (:
I swear today has been the longest day of my life going through every minute without much laughter and smile. So not me right guys? I know its awkward. Hmm.. I feel awkward. it has always been me cheering people up. ):
Something that I actually saw and can't resist to smile.
"In 2013, I will watch 2012 and laugh" HAHAHA
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I guess this is it?[ 11:13 AM ]
I've just had the best dream of my life today. I actually smiled when I woke up :D
To get a sweet wishes in the morning and at night from someone but not him was nothing sweet at all. To receive a message at 2am just when I ended my work asking me to take care from someone but not him was really a heartache. To see my phone keep on vibrating with miss calls and sms-es from guys but not him never make my day. To see quite a number of msn blinking whenever Im online and he was not one of them just makes me feel miserable. To see other guys care for me so much but not him doesn't matter to me at all.
I've tried my very best. In fact, I really changed just because I want this time to have a happy ending. Yet, it seems like all the things I've done was purely wasted and unappreciated. All I get was doubts, ignorance and heartache. I just have to say this - guys are heartless. Sorry, but you make me say it. Know what? This was actually my last try. Im not gonna look back anymore.
You're no difference from any guy. All the things that you seemed to deny, it proves to me much that you're just the same. People have been telling me stuffs about you but did I ever ask you anything about it? No, I did not. I chose to trust you. And wow, this is all I get.
Im okay. Im fine with it. Just a reminder, when you meet someone in the future, the one that actually you really love, don't ever ask her to wait. Don't. Because she WILL wait for you and she might just end up heartbroken like me.
I really hope you would have the courage to come up to me and tell me that you take back your words. You take back all the confessions. Take back when you asked me to wait for you. Take back everything. I promised I will walk away.
Thank you for building such a high hopes on me. Thank you for making me smile throughout the day. Thank you for making me feel like there is a chance. Even though it was just temporary, but thank you so much. I was hoping it would last forever. But things happen. Im okay.
)':
Friday, November 27, 2009
Give me a break.[ 1:40 AM ]
Hello.
I can say that it has been a damn tiring week.
Friday - Sunday Training camp. Two words = Awesomely fun! Make lots of friends there but I know most of them already since they are from rp. Haha. I was in team 1 and we named it A.E.T which is Alex Elite Team. I was damn relieved when Khairul and Syazwan was in the same team as me. Great or whaaaaat. At least I know someone well in my group. Well, without my team, I wouldn't have enjoyed my 3 days 2 nights camp. We are the best team in the camp ok! Congrats to khai and KJ getting the best male and female campers award. Both are from my team! :D I was sick but because the camp was so much fun that I forget about my sickness. Haha. And oh!, I was like "famous" in the camp on the first night. Thanks to nightwalk at pasir ris park. LOL. Wanna know what happen, can ask me personally :p
Monday Went to school. Was damn tired because of the camp but I still decided to go. But in the end, I partial-ed. There's a reason why I partial-ed.
Tuesday-Thursday Camp again! At west spring secondary for leadership camp. It was a great experience for me. Thanks to my team for giving me the most hardest time in the camp. Yes, I got the most quietest group and I tried damn hard to make them talk and joined the activities actively. Surprisingly, they did improved bits by bits. Im proud of them. Thanks to them too that I lost my voice. Oh well, who says being an instructor was easy? But whatever it is, I love you guys team 3!!! :D You guys will make a great leader!
Friday Selamat hari raya haji.
Will be working on saturday and sunday. Haish. Like no mood to go work can. So damn tired. I was damn busy with my hectic schedule that I actually got no time for social life. Gosh. Its that bad okay.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
[ 11:43 PM ]
you can only push a girl away for so long. until she walks out of your life on her own. so be careful and make sure this is what you want. because once she turns back, she's not coming back.
will update soon.
Friday, November 20, 2009
[ 12:29 PM ]
Cute kan? HAHA
Tuesday Worked with meira. Wenn jet stayed with us although he can go home early. We had lots of fun camwhoring because there is no customer. Boring siol. Nowadays very little people. I think it's because of raining season. After worked, Meira went to my place and we hang out at the Active. Kelvin followed us and we camwhored again. Lepak till 3am then went home.
Wednesday Work again with Wenn Jet. More boring. I ate like the whole ice3 food I think. Haha. I tried all the ice cream flavours and fried lots of drumlets and other things. Gosh, I seriously need to diet.
Thursday I was sick. It started off with a fever in the morning. But I caught flu during lesson. Damn. Stayed halfway for SHL meeting. Dearest sent me home. So sweet kaaan. Haha. I know. Hmm.. (:
Today Did not attend school. In a few hours time, I will be off to camp. Im still having flu ): Hope I can manage during camp. Urgh. So not cool okay. Oh well, don't miss me k people. HAHAHA!
To him,
I don't know if you would read this or not. I don't know if you still even care to read my blog. But I just wanna wish you a very happy legal birthday. Even though, we are no longer best friends or even called friends, remember that there are times I wished we could just forget everything and start all over again. I am deeply sorry about the past, hurting your feelings countless of times and in the end, our friendship ended just like that. In that few months of knowing you and you became my best guy friend, you taught me something. There are no such thing as best friends between a guy and a girl. You know what?I miss your joke. I miss the days we fight with each other. I miss our friendship. I miss you.
Another random thought that keeps on playing on my mind. I swear it irritates me and no matter how hard I try to ignore it, I just can't. I was caught in the middle. It is all up to me to make a right choice now. I don't know if I should trust that one person or should I trust a handful of people telling me the same thing. Hmmm...
I might create another blog that are for personal stuff. If you want the link, just ask me aites. And fyi, I might not give it to certain people whether you are my friends anot. Because I don't think I can even trust some of my friends already. This blog would be pretty much just a random post or maybe I won't even update it.. Shall see how.. :D
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Happy Birthday Iqah ♥ ♥ ♥[ 8:56 AM ]
Iqaaaaaaah, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY! Another best friend of mine just going on sweet 17. You and Fatin happy countdown-ing till happy legal days. I’ll be waiting for that day :D
Iqah, my 9th years old friend and till now, still going on strong. We have been sharing most of the things together since primary school. Sad much that I only met you when I was in primary 3 or else we would have been best friends for 10 years. Awwww...
Well, it’s been a wonderful moments of you being part of my life. We’ve shared things for almost half of my life! :D And yes, despite all the wonderful moments, we had our bad times practically every day. HAHA. We fought like countless of times and I know it is all because of me. I know, I’m irritating. Tsktsk.
So I would like to thank this very dear of mine for staying with me through thick and thin up till now. :D
People say that true friends are hard to find. People say that best friends do not exist. Obviously, they haven’t met theirs. I’ve met mine and indeed, I met 3! Oh wait, 4 including Ain who I’ve known for 9 years too (:
Side-tracked.
Iqah, this was not a last minute entry ok. In fact, this very minute that I’m writing this is actually on the 8th November. 10 days before your very own special day. Just want you to know that you are indeed a very special person that somehow plays a huge part in my life.
If you were to think that you didn’t matter in my life. You are damn stupid I tell you. Of course you matter to me! You matter to me than all of my friends. Only God knows how my life would be like if I never met you. I would not have a best friend who is full of lame-ness, irritating, funny, cute, “gorgeous like lady gaga” and most of all, I would have definitely not known the meaning of a true friend. On this very special day of yours, do enjoy every minute of it. And in every minute of what you are doing, think of me okaaaaay! :p Kidding2. Hmm, I want you to remember things I’m gonna tell you. Not only today or tomorrow but for the rest of your life.
I’ll be that friend to cheer you up when you are down. I’ll be that friend to comfort you when you’re sad. To fight for you when you’re hurt and a friend who will always be there for you. When others walked out of your life, remember that I will not be one of them. And when you did something for MY sake, just don’t. I would be angry but of course in the end I will be okay rightttt. (: It’s not the matter of how many friends that you have because in the end some will leave you and you are still left with the ones that care for you. So, it doesn’t matter that sometimes you have to hurt some people’s feelings because you should know that you still have me, fatin and kaukau. Who actually are and WILL stay by your side no matter what.
There are moments when I was just being a bitch and hurt your feelings. Just so you know that I don’t really intend to do that to you. I was prolly having some major problems and due to that, I put my anger on you. I’m so proud of you that you actually stayed with me till this very moment despite all my bitchy-ness. Haha. Other than that, of course I just love to irritate you la :p Ok dear best friend, I know this was like a major grandmother story. I still got a lot of things to tell you! But it’s ok, can tell you any other days. Lastly, I want to thank you for every single thing that you ever done for me. No words could express my gratitude. I hope that our friendship will still keep on counting and going on strong till our very last breathe. I hope that when someone asks you who your best friend is, you would answer proudly and without giving a second thought saying, “Dian Farhana”. HAHAHA! Oh well, I’m serious -.- Don’t forget some plans that we actually make ok! :D Your “MORE HOTTER than MEGAN FOX”, “MORE GORGEOUS than LADY GAGA”,
BEST of the BEST FRIEND,
Dian Farhana
P.S This is for you, my best friend. The one person I can tell my soul to, who can relate to me like no other, who I can laugh with to no extent, who I can cry to when times are tough, who can help me with the problems of my life. Never have you turned your back on me or told me I wasn’t good enough or let me down. I don’t think you know what that means to me. You have gone through so much pain and you still have time for me and I love you for listening even when you’re dying inside. And I look up to you because you’re strong, and caring, and beautiful, even though you don’t think you are (but sometimes you did). And I hope you know that I’m always here to listen to you laugh and cry and help in all the ways that I can, and I will try to be at least half the friend you are to me. I hope you know I would not be the person I am today without you, my best friend. Thanks for being the friend who’s always believed in me, who’s always understood, who’s always accepted me, who’s always cared.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
[ 5:21 PM ]
I used to be a girl who
never makes the first move. never willing to get to know a guy. never care. set a limit between relationship and friends. never prioritized anyone. doesn't know the feeling of anticipation. never carry her phone 24 hours by her side. never choose favourites. doesn't have favourites on guys. never smile for a guy till her cheek hurts. never hope for every second that he would think of her.
She just wait.
Now that he's part of my heart, I'm a girl who
try her best to make a move. try to care. giving an exception to him. anticipate for a msg with just a hello. never left her phone by her side. choose him as her first favvourites. smile till her cheek hurts. hope every single second that he thinks of her.
She still waits.
That's how much he changed her. & she appreciate his existence.
Ask me again that one question, I'll promised this time I'm ready to say
yes.
Monday, November 16, 2009
[ 10:17 PM ]
You told me you were nothing special; just a normal guy. Well, no “normal guy” would ever make me feel like I can fly; like I’m the only girl in the world that matters. Believe me baby, you are no “normal guy”.
[ 9:28 PM ]
Finally, yesterday was the last day of party. No more going home late for work! (I hope)
Let's talk about work. It was almost 4am and I was still at my workplace. Damn pissed off can. I have to call my dad to fetch me. And yes, I did not ponteng school. So I was being half zombie in school. And what's worse I didn't bring jacket to school. Damn cold sia. I was so damn quiet and didn't even reply what others were asking me. Hahaha. But finally my hero came to the rescue. Adib -.- (Of all people) HAHAHAHA! Oh well, but thanks to him, Im back to myself la ehhh. Then I camwhored with his jacket. Step cool liddat.
3rd meeting, a few classmates partial. Tsktsk. Adib also partial but he say I can return his jacket tomorrow. Kimberly disturbed stephanie. HAHA. Omg, for a minute, I thought Adib and stephanie are really together. lol.
Hmm... there was something missing here. But I forgot what I wanted to talk about. Oh well, nights everyone.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I think[ 12:23 AM ]
Im falling in love with braids. HAHA. nk try uh. :D
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Love me[ 5:36 PM ]
Hoho. I feel so energetic now. I've been sleeping MAXIMUM 3 hours each day for a week and I was totally flat today. I woke up at 3+. Huhu. This is so unhealthy. But oh well, my schedules are tight with everything. Seriously, damn alot. What's with my IG proposal and there's more coming up, work which I actually wanted to because I just love my workplace, 2 plans that are meant to be a secret, camps coming up! and mooooore. Its a good thing that I didn't accept the YOG volunteer or I would be like a zombie by the end of this month. Its kinda sad because I really wanted to be part of the YOG but there is too many trainings for the position I was appointed for. And I need to think of my health and all, I won't be able to juggle all these things at one time.
Lucky UT was over. Hurray! I will be expecting a bad result for my UT 1. If I were to get a D for all my UT, I would be damn happy. Know why? Because I did not study a single thing for ALL the modules. Not that I purposely don't want to study but I was just damn tired and I would prolly fall asleep reading the first slide. But not to worry, I would chiong my UT 2 and UT 3, hopefully. Haha.
So anyway, another week has passed. It's already the 6th week Im with my new classmate. We bonded well and we are getting easy with each other somehow. Especially Hakim! So quiet for the first few weeks and little did we know, he can actually make fun of me being a minah rep. -.- tsktsk. Now, I don't look forward for weekends. Its like I want the school to be every day. HAHA. Oh not only because I love my classmate, but I can peep on someone more often :D
This is only so far the best attendance we have in class, so we decided to take a class picture. There was one time we have full attendance, but we didn't take class picture ): Oh well, wait for cats to lay eggs before we can have another full attendance. HAHAHA. I was so not ready for a photo taking session so yeah, my face..-.- pffft.
Friday, went to buy some snacks at booklink during lunch time. Nad and Izzah taught me how to be a real minah rep. HAHAHA! I didn't know that all this while we can steal things without getting caught. Nad proved me it was easy. But, I wanna be a good girl so I won't wanna do it. Hehehe. But oh wow, like damn easy can..
At night, worked with Meira! :D Gave her his number. Lololol. Now they on the process of getting to know with each other. Cheyy3.. :p
My sister downloaded songs froma singer called Justin Bieber. It was quite a long time ago but I didn't actually click to hear it. Today, I felt like hearing it and I fall in love with his songs. Gosh, so niceeeeeeee. Cute righttttt. :D But my eyecandy cuter la. Hees. :p
Love me, love me Say that you love me Fool me, fool me Oh how you do me Kiss me, kiss me Say that you miss me Tell me what I wanna hear Tell me you love me
Friday, November 13, 2009
AnaRedz[ 10:16 AM ]
Tell me i’m not making a mistake. tell me that you’re worth the wait, that you’re always going to be here. Make me believe that I’m making the right decision by still holding on. show me that you’re going to be around to catch me when i fall.
I love you (:
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Guys, stop calling me Minah Rep[ 7:39 PM ]
Yessssss, stop calling me that! Hakim will die soon. -.- Oh well, it gives me a reason to disturb him with Sara. HAHAHA!
Seriously, I don't look/talk/act or whatever it is that have to with Minah Rep. Walaoweeeiiii. Irritating lor. Pfft
I've got like a thing to blog about but I don't think it just feels appropriate. But all I want to say was don't conclude something if you are not sure. It's damn childish to talk bad about people just because they used to have a past with you. Im not siding anyone, I was just saying what I feel.
Why must people make it so complicated uh.
I don't even know who to trust. I don't even know what to do now. I just want to know what is the truth.
....
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
[ 7:19 PM ]
Today's rj question like so damn hard cann. So I give up already. I don't do. LOL
Im working today! Ahh, this miss super clever here forgot got UT. Anyhow tell boss can work. -.- But nvm, can eat ice cream :D
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell some story about yesterday. Morning - Decided to disturb someone by msg-ing him that I saw him. Actually, I don't know where he was. Haha. Then Iqah started to say don't anyhow disturb him, later he will appear behind me. Little did I know, it was true. He replied saying he saw me too. And Iqah turned back, and ya, he was behind me. Panicked like shit la. Walked so fast like motorboat eh cik abg? HAHAHA
Ut time was .... I finished the first and like damn early. I was done after 15-20 mins. Yeah, can't pretty much guess my grade la eh. I was actually in a hurry la because got appointment but that stupid faci don't allow me to go. Bodoh.
I got lost in the Orchard. I was supposed to drop at Orchard station but I dropped at Cityhall? And then after walking like half an hour, I called the place and find out that I actually have to drop at Orchard. So went to the MRT station and drop there. Worse, once I went out of the Ion orchard, I dunno where to head. Im very bad at places la as you all know. So not surprising if I got lost. I decided to try my luck and walked at one direction. After a looooong journey, I give up. I feel like crying already so I took a cab. And this part, I really am pissed off. He took me around until the fare was $12 and y'knw where is the place all along?! It was just opposite the road uh. Stupid cab driver. He got the nerve not to tell me that it was that building. Sad sey, my money gone just like that. Grrrr
Ok done bye.
Im testing you. (:[ 10:00 AM ]
Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don’t trust them, but to see how much they’ll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go not because you suddenly stopped caring for them, but to see if the care enough to come back.
Yes, I do test guys along the way. To see how sincere he is. I don't test directly. It was the small little things that I ask and they way guys react to a certain things. Oh well, up till now not even one guy passed the test. :D
Monday, November 9, 2009
This is dedicated for YOU :D[ 11:38 PM ]
I don’t know but I think I maybe Fallin’ for you Dropping so quickly Maybe I should Keep this to myself Waiting ’til I Know you better
I am trying Not to tell you But I want to I’m scared of what you’ll say So I’m hiding what I’m feeling But I’m tired of Holding this inside my head
I’ve been spending all my time Just thinking about ya I don’t know what to do I think I’m fallin’ for you I’ve been waiting all my life and now I found ya I don’t know what to do I think I’m fallin’ for you I’m fallin’ for you
As I’m standing here And you hold my hand Pull me towards you And we start to dance All around us I see nobody Here in silence It’s just you and me
I’m trying Not to tell you But I want to I’m scared of what you’ll say So I’m hiding what I’m feeling But I’m tired of Holding this inside my head
I’ve been spending all my time Just thinking about ya I don’t know what to do I think I’m fallin’ for you I’ve been waiting all my life and now I found ya I don’t know what to do I think I’m fallin’ for you I’m fallin’ for you
Oh I just can’t take it My heart is racing The emotions keep spinning out
I’ve been spending all my time Just thinking about ya I don’t know what to do I think I’m fallin’ for you I’ve been waiting all my life and now I found ya I don’t know what to do I think I’m fallin’ for you I’m fallin’ for you
I can’t stop thinking about it I want you all around me And now I just can’t hide it I think I’m fallin’ for you (x2)
I’m fallin’ for you
Ooohhh Oh no no Oooooohhh Oh I’m fallin’ for you
Thanks to Nad, I discover this song. Damn Niceeeee cannnn. Ok, so eherm2...to whom it may concern to, this song is definitely for youuuuuuu. You should know who you are. If you don't, can ask me :D
Every single word in the lyrics, I meant it alot okaaaay. Must read word by word. Heees.
Nad, dedicate this song to ______ laaaaa! :D
As of today, my feelings won't get affected by all those bullshits. I don't want to make myself suffer. Now, I don't want to lie to my feelings. And Im planning to focus on this now. Hopefully, things will work out well uh. :D
Don't make me say guys are heartless[ 8:49 PM ]
A quick recap on today.
Throughout the lesson, as usual, I stick to me best friend (laptop). Today felt a wee bit down. Or maybe, I felt waaaaay down that at one point of time, that I felt my bag of tears was about to burst. Funny how it is so easy for me to cry nowadays. I used to be so strong and never cried for months. My heart is getting softer I guess. LOL.
Oh well, blame him. Yes, I blamed him for this troubled feelings I have. But Im not going to let him do this to me again. And by that, it means I have to forget him. This time its for real.
I used to be so good at hiding my feelings. Even when I was at my most down moments, I still could act like some happy-go-lucky girl. I used to be called that. Now Im a person labeled with 1001 feelings at one point of time. I laughed for a minute and in the next minute, I actually kept in silence and do my own stuff. Haish.
I don't want guys to be the reason I cried. I promised that when I was just a little girl. But I broke that promised when I broke up with my most precious ex. I felt so stupid after that and I promised myself that would be the last time. Yes, I won't break that promise no matter what. It is just so stupid to fall head over heels for a guy and cried my ass out when getting heartbroken.
Are all guys like that? Can I ever have the chance to feel love with a guy? Maybe that's where I lose. And I win true friends. As what phrases ever quoted, "You win some, You lose some". All I can say was, I just have to wait. Im still young and there are still thousands of fishes out there in the sea. Im sure one of them are meant to be mine. I'll faithfully wait for that day.
Enough with sad posts. I need to liven up my blog. Don't wanna spoil it with some emo shits. Hmm..Oh well, since peeps in my class called me a minah rep, I want to wear something different tomorrow. I'll be that sweet girl next door. :D
Of all guys, it just had to be you[ 11:55 AM ]
And it’s not that you hurt me that is so hard for me right now; it’s more that I believed every word you said, and I thought you were different. I thought maybe, just maybe, you changed. I blocked everyone else out because I fell for the shit you said. But the hardest part isn’t any of that. It’s that I honestly believed you.
I realize that overall, you weren’t really worth it. There were moments with you that made me really happy, but the majority of the time you just shut me out. That’s why this summer, I’ll try to get over you. We might’ve had something really great, but I guess we’ll never know. I’ll never forget the good times with you, but I’ll also never forget how you hurt me more than any other boy.
So here it is: my walls are up because the last time I pulled them down, someone came along and messed me up. And I… I didn’t think I’d ever get out of it, not whole anyway. And when I did, when I finally found myself okay after so many tears I thought, no one is worth this. So I put my walls back up, higher than high thinking I would not let anyone ever knock them down again. But then you came along. Now I’m not sure of anything. Is it worth the risk, to let the walls down, to take that leap of faith, to allow myself to fall, with you, tell me is it worth it?
[ 12:49 AM ]
You know how you’re watching a movie, and you kind of already know how it’s gonna end, but you watch it anyway, just because? Well, that’s how it was with you. I knew it was only a matter of time, that it was gonna come out sooner or later. I knew how it was going to end. But I went on with it. I kept feeling the way I did because as selfish as it sounds it made me happy. You made me happy. Now though.. you’re gone, and I have no-one to turn to. Would I take it all back if I had the chance? Yes, I would. If I could do it all over again I’d wish never to have met you at all. Because no matter how happy I was at the time, in the end all you left me with was pain.
):
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Don't steal my best friend[ 11:45 PM ]
I hate this feeling so much. I don't know why and the feeling is so wrong but I just can't stop it. I couldn't describe the feeling. I can't say it was jealousy because it's referring to a girl. I know that I can't stop people from making friends but I just don't like it when they wanted to treat MY best friend like their very own. And what I hate most is that it is as though she knows my friend longer than me, better than me. This is so irritating. See, I can't call it jealousy or can I?
[ 2:13 PM ]
The guy who loves you can't actually state the reason why he does; he only knows you're the only thing that matters next to his family. The guy who loves you worries a lot when he can't hear a word from you even after he just dropped you home, only because he cares. The guy who loves you apologizes even if he knows you're wrong, he just wants you to be happy. A guy loves a girl when he knows what is best for both of them... Let go even though it hurts... Yet, he still hopes for a future with you.
Life is wonderful[ 12:41 PM ]
Adventure learning programme. My class standard la, only 7 people turns up. huahuahua! Other class more standard. One class, only 3 people and other classes, none turn up. HAHA. Okok, I think righhhht, I cannot be some sporty type ): You see la, I tie my hair like some nerd sia. Not nice! Grrrrr ): Sad uh like this.
Anyway, we were doing absailing only. And walaoweeii, when my turn uh, my classmate disturb me seyy from below. Call me minah all. -.- Even the trainers there also laugh. Pffft. Well, the experience is good I should say. Hehehe. Then after that, we take picture. Stupid Adib sabo me! Cover my face. -.-
Working was fun as always. Yesterday, I worked for opening and there's no customer. So, Emily made her own KFC chicken. Omg, niceeeeeeee. It really does taste like KFC chicken. She taught me, now I know how to do already. Can't wait to try and do it. HEHE! So, who wants to try my ownself made kfc chicken? :D Oh well, me and Emily had a candlelight dinner. Its like damn real uh. Got candle all ( see the picture!). The best thing was, there is no customer. It was like a real date. How I wished I could have that kind of date with (eherm2) ... Hehehe. I so called passed the candlelight dinner test. HAHA! inside joke.
And btw, tu minah is my so called "Afiq". HAHAHA. Last few days she disturb me, say nk kenal2. Oh well, I don't really entertain these kind of people and I was somehow being harsh. Then after I asked her a few questions like how "he" get my number, she keep playing around with her words, I ignore her. Tau takoooot, finally she msg-ed say she's Meira. HAHAHA! So it was a payback time uh. Yesterday, I force Emily and Kelvin to be part of my plan. And Wenn Jet too! This is how it goes...I msg-ed her says that I will be going home once she reached so she will be replacing me. Then Emily and Kelvin will be transfered to Garden coz of short staff. She will have to work with Yovun, Wenn Jet and Samantha. The thing is she don't really like working with them. Hahaha! She damn pissed off seyy. Then once she reached, we really take our bag and go out, leaving her alone. Muahahaha! But of course, we came back a short while later and surprised her. She damn angry uh but still, since she love me so much, she happy again :p She damn pretty tau. Like Minah Rep. Sape nk knl2 can ask me. HAHAHAHA!
I just found out there's Adidas sale at Tampines. I wanna go but my dad working. Wanna go alone buuuut as you all know la kn, I suck at Singapore road. Hahaha. Must wait and see la. :D
To Nad, don't confuse2 la. He's giving the green light tu. Go and win his heart. AHHAHA :D Don't anyhow disturb me only. Hehehehehehe
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Dear you, here's the sweet truth[ 12:40 AM ]
Someday, someone will come into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. ^^
So don't get disheartened to be in love again and be in a relationship. :D
Friday, November 6, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINTERLOVE :D[ 9:53 PM ]
Fatin, I know this was like a damn late entry but whatever it is, you know Im the FIRST person to wish you! HAHAHA
So, finally you are seventeen ehh. But oh well, one more year to go legal and take license! ME, kire2 sendiri la eh..another few more months only. HUAHUAHUA. Suddenly I feel so lucky I was born in the early month. hahahhaa
Oh well, doesn't matter which month we were born. I just am grateful that we are borned in the same year (: If not, we won't be able to meet each other kn kn kn :D
Ok love, by now you should know that I AM always here for you. Doesn't matter during ur happy moments or down moments. We would laugh together during happy moments and I promise you that when at at times you're down, you can count on me to cheer you up. :D Oops, not count on me only. But count on US; Me, Iqah and Kaukau. Remember our phrase: We came and never left.
It has been a damn chaotic 5 years of us being friends. Lots of ups and downs between us but hey, we become closer and our friendship are stronger. Here we are now, still best of friends :D
I know its too late to tell you to enjoy this day of yours to the fullest (but I did msg-ed u righttt!), BUT I want you to enjoy each day of your life to the fullest okay (: Start counting down days till your legal bdae! HAHA.
Well winterlove, I've got lots to say and it would be never-ending. (: Right now, I just want you to know all this most important things first and keep them in mind and your heart. You know that whatever it is we won't leave you own your own. You are not alone... CHEYY3!
Love, Dian Farhana a.k.a Fatin's winterlove
P.S A true friend is a person who is there for you through thick and thin. They don't judge you by the clothes you wear, or the size of your house. They love you no matter what. They are a shoulder to cry on, or a partner to laugh with. They stand by you in your times of need, and listen when you are excited. They know every little about you. They stand up for you when others don't.
Best friends hang tough. They don't come with fragile stickers, and aren't easily scared off...or ticked off. Best friends help you out whenever they can, make time for you even when they don't have any, and trust your friendship enough to say 'no'. Best friends are...cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die, good-times-and-bad-times, borrow-anything, tell-you-everything, trust-you-with-their-deepest-darkest-secrets, always-and-forever-friends.
[ 8:32 PM ]
Life just doesn't like it when Im being happy uh. And guys, why do you just love to see us girls in despair? Bloody hell.
Well, I have just decided that maybe its time for me to stop waiting for something that might never happen at all in my life. What's more, I'm ecstatic when life has been giving me such a wonderful moments when fate brought him to me. I thought this is it. But no, it's not.
Life has decide another fate for me. A cruel one. Just when I thought maybe I should stick to one, life brings me a handful to handle. They do not affect me as much as YOU.
Why are you being such a meanie? Why do you just love to see me struggling in despair? When all those while I've waited for you, where on earth have you been? Its not a matter of days or weeks but months. You know my feelings towards you and yes, you admit you feel the same. But at that point of time, your reason for us not to be together was because of another party. You told me that maybe we should let him cool down and let's just be close friend. I accept your reason because me too, feels the same. But I didn't see you even make an effort to care about my life. I thought maybe you were just playing around. My feelings for you has faded, ______.
But, just when I was thinking of moving on, you came back. And the most hurtful thing is, the reason you came back was because you found out Im letting you go and found someone else to replace you. Such a cruel act. You saw my pm and you started all your bullshit sweet words. You make me doubt my feelings. Now Im not even sure what to do.
You tell friends you like me and so on. Why now? And even till now, you're still hiding in your nutshells. Just by telling people your feelings towards me, will not change the future. Don't expect me to make the first move because I won't.
And ex(es), you can just get a life man. Oh wow, you guys are just a bullshit. Ya lah, see my pm about a guy..then want to talk, ask how is my life whereas all this time, you guys MIA-ing. You think with all your sweet words and pleading, I would want to believe you, meet you and get back with you? Thanks but NO thanks. pfft.
I don't ask for some damn perfect guy to be my partner. I don't set high standards on them. I don't ask much. Just a person who knows how to win my heart without even trying and most important of all, he loves me sincerely and are always there for me through up and downs.
Im a girl who stick to one. And Im a person who is willing to wait for years. But sadly, for your case, I think I should just move on. I know its going to be hard for me because my feelings to you was serious. But to think back and see that it was just a false hope, makes me half-hearted. Maybe it was not a false hope, but I wanted to believe it that way. If one day, you make a move and approach me, all I can say is sorry. Because, I've given u so many chance. Now, its time for me to give others a chance and I believe that someone can make that happen :p
AnaRedz[ 1:27 AM ]
Updated. Don't get it wrong ehh... HAHA :D
Don't RedzAna sounds like a girl name? hahhahaha. Oops, sorry Wan! Its niceeee and unique kn kn kn.. LOL
Thursday, November 5, 2009
soulmate, where are you?[ 3:14 PM ]
I want someone to share my secrets with, someone to talk to late at night when I can’t sleep, someone who feels comfortable around my family, someone to comfort me when I’m scared, to hold me when I’m sad, someone who doesn’t need to say that he loves me for me to know its true.
that is my soulmate (:
Eyecandy[ 9:55 AM ]
The reason why I have my best moments in life. :D
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
[ 11:24 PM ]
Another great day that never fails to make me laugh and smile throughout the day :D
Morning was not really that great. I woke up late because I did not set the alarm. It has always been my sister who did that and now that she's having her holiday, I have to set alarm myself. Wahlaowehh..Anyway anyway, I decided to still attend school although part of me just wished to continue sleeping. But sadly, grades has been pretty bad since school started and I can't bare to see another x. Another thing is I promised to yanyan that I won't skip school again. HAHA. I don't know why I don't have mood to go school this sem. It is so NOT me ok. I've always love going to school. Haish.
Well, once I reached class, the faci face like mintak kene slap. Because of me, we have to form another team. But hey, thanks to me we actually have 4 teams instead of 3. HAHA. The good thing was, Im not the last latecomer. Adam and ramien came at 10+ uh. :D As you can see, my class standard one. Lots of latecomers and absentees. Hard to see my class with 5 teams and NEVER have full attendance. If there is a day my class is full attendance, I would eat a bowl of vegetables ah.
I am somehow just being a wee bit hyper today. I interviewed Adib, Syafiq and Adam some random questions. Adib's answer is like shyshy type. Syafiq's answer so straightforward and Adam's answer..tsktsk..shiok sendiri can? HAHA But nevertheless, they are the reason that never fails to make me laugh throughout the day.
I found some interesting facts about Adam uh. Eh like omg, I can't believe he's that kind of guy uh. So major sweetness caaaaan. Want to know what is it? Ask me! But really, it would be great if the world is full of guys like him. The good side uh. Not the bad side. HAHAHA.
So tomorrow would be marketing ut. I just browsed through the 6ps, reading only the subtitles. Not suprising really. Tomorrow I want to do my ut seriously. Not like cognitive, Im one of the first few person to packed my bag when the ut is still going on. hehehe.
Hmm, I was being superbly bored just now and I decided to blog hopping. Suddenly the temptations to go to his blog overwhelmed me. I did and well, Im happy that he has learnt to let go..Oh well..
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
[ 10:15 PM ]
Things are getting better each day. :D
Last saturday, my workplace had a farewell party for joves, my supervisor. She is the best supervisor. Sad uh she's leaving. ): Anyway, the party was somehow awesome. They drink and all. Of course, I don't drink la. Good girl mah. HAHA. It was pretty much scary when some got drunk. Well, we had party till 6am and joves sent me home. Ahh, damn tired I tell you. But I had a fun night. :D
Didn't go to school yesterday. And I was planning not to come today. Little did I know, UT was supposed to be today. Thanks to Nad who told me that. And I didn't even study for it la. Dian oh Dian..what happen to you uh? Good Girl Gone Bad isit?! -.-
I am pretty much still stressed up right now. Still. Although not as a bad as previous days. Me and mum is okay, I guess. Still feeling awkward. The rest are manageable. Yes, I am a strong girl and I know I can handle it.
TODAY... can I just bookmark this day as one of my favourite day of my life? I am seriously on cloud nine. Firstly, I am damn semangat in class. Im being such a goody two shoes doing the worksheet and all. But then my semangat-ness drop in the first break. And some people was just being too irritating and sarcastic that I almost felt like screaming at him. But I didn't because I don't want anything or anyone to spoil my mood today. So I just hack care him.
Anyway, sidetracked. Hmm, well, what actually made my day? MR HANLET. Yes, like omg. Of all people, its him. Ok so the story goes like this..My friend was viewing her friend's photo and some of the pics got his face. She know that he is my eyecandy so she called me over and show the pictures. Find out that he is in the same class as her friend. Wahh, like happy sia. Ape lagi, try to take this chance aaah. And yes, I got his msn! Heeeees.
It was really unbelievable. Come on, he's my eyecandy since last semester. And I didn't expect that I could actually talk to him. :D :D :D Thank you Mr. Hanlet, you made my day uh. (:
Okok, shall not elaborate much. Just hope that things will be much better in the future. I think I suffered enough for the last few days/weeks.