It started off as a normal day today. But someone just had to spoil my good day.

Im not blaming you in everything. I admit it is my fault. But don't deny you never had your share of faultiness over here, cause you did. Thats how I dealt with problems and unfortunately, yours are the opposite. Its not either of us fault over here. I don't blame you. We are just different. I want to be a friend to you who cares about you, but I do it in my own way. If I were to do it your own way, Im changing my way of life and that is impossible. Because I am myself. If you say that, what I did was heartless, leaving you alone to deal this while I am happy and moving on with my daily lives, fine I accept it with an open arms. Because yes, I am doing it. But think, its not easy to be in my position here. I am trying to help you and try being close friends again, but please think, its not a matter of seconds. It is not that easy. Life is never that easy. How can I be normal being near you when you always never want to move on. How hard for you to move on, is how hard Im trying my best to be normal to you. You cannot move on easily, and I cannot be normal easily. How can I? I will have done my part, if you done yours.

My way is to be friends and move on. Never to cling on the past. But what you did is the opposite, which is why it is hard for both of us to be normal to each other. We had a different thing on mind and we want to solve it differently. You say you are the victim because I hurt you. And you deny ever trying to hurt me. Well, what is it called when a person asked you every single thing about your daily lives and are unhappy about it? Controllable. What is it called when a person demands you to do what they expect you to? Threatening. What is it called when a person complain/cried about something that is such a small matter? Sensitive. Humans are egoistic, yes I agree I am one. Who doesn't? I did accept my fault, and you think Im not sincere as so on. What is that?

You tell me I was the cause of every arguments we had every time we chat. But think, who started off the topic that I don't like. A topic that everytimes just pissed me off. Even for a person to care someone, its not the right way to ask every single thing about their lives. Each individuals have their own privacy in life. The topic always end up talking about the past. Is that what you called move on and start to be friends? You stalk every thing about me. Fyi, what Syiqin wrote in twitter was not referring to my crush at all. It was meant to be a joke about Afiq, OUR CLASSMATE. He happens to be in the same group as mine, and I was joking with Syiq that he never chatted with me. Is that even wrong? And you blaming me with all that shit without even knowing the truth. Have you seen me flirting with guys? Damn it no and its wrong, coz I don't. The guy who supposingly to be my eyecandy is a stranger. And the person who I have feelings to, you don't even know him. And wow, if you were to know who, you might understand.

I said Im sorry with the things I've called you that hurts your feelings. And yet, whenever we fight, you used it against me. It is as though, you never forgived me. And you called me mean words back, so its fair and square to you. At least I apologised what I called you, and I forget what I have said and never called you that again. But what you called me, Im sure you would never say sorry. And even if you do, you will keep calling me with those mean words.

Yes, its true that when you love someone, you take them seriously. But if there are no special relationships between a two soul, and they are friends, no matter how serious you are and care for her, there was a limit. Not to be too serious and care like as though we are an item. The way you asked me questions every day, is like as though you are checking on me. When I never wanted to tell something, you say I never care for your feelings. Well, some things are meant not to be told. And look at how sometimes, I did tell the truth and somehow it hurts you and then we fought, and you blame me for the source of the fight. I don't even know what is right or what is wrong to do. Because either way, its always me to take the blame. Ok fine, I accept that too. Because my answers always hurt your feelings and you're hurt. I lied and you're hurt. I refused to tell and then you say how you tried to care but I never give you a chance, and you're hurt. Tell me. What can I say when everything hurts you? Isn't it better you keep it to yourself to avoid arguments? And here I am taking the blame that Im the one starting the fight.

Whenever I replied your msn late, you became angry. Saying Im being purposely not to talk to you, others are more important and all. Please, I chatted with other people and what is the best reason that I can ignore them and talk to you only? Ya, I always reply late but I want to do something else too. You can say that I may not be serious with it, ok I agree with that. Because the so called serious topic was never serious at all. It was what you wanted to believe.

Im sorry that whatever I did was to lead you on. I thought you should have known that it was a joke. This part, I take all the blame. Because, I should have never joke around with you something like that. I should have tried to know you better so that I know you take things like that seriously. Because of that you called me a cheap woman. Thanks alot.

I absolutely do not force you to do my own way. You have your own ways to deal with things. Ya, I want us to start from scratch so that everything is back to normal. But no, you don't want that. You want your own way of friendships. The close one, the one who I need in every seconds of my life. I can, but somehow when you meant close, it was as though it was more like an item kind of relationship. Its like more than friends. You asked every single thing, check on me and stuff. Friends don't do that. Friends are about being happy with each other and when they sense they have a problem, they will come and talk to you. But not to check on each other because everyone deserves certain privacy. Not like as though I check on my friends on every single thing, did I?

Ya I would remember every single thing you called me. And don't take your words back. Enough is enough. Nobody ever judged me especially when they know me in a matter of months. Really, thanks alot. And Im sorry for everything.